Cracks of Joy
by OperaEagle IcelynLacelett
Summary: "Takeshi knew that Gokudera didn't like him that way, but wow did that hurt. He knew he had no chance with the dynamite user, but his mind didn't seem to be capable of wrapping itself around that little fact." Reborn assigns them a mission, and it somehow turns into Takeshi reviewing his feelings and convincing himself that the cracks in his heart are from joy. 8059 oneshot, 7YL.


A/N: Welcome welcome!

This is a short little drabble that I wrote when my muse decided I wasn't writing enough angst (I have real problems, guys) and was inspired for romance, specifically 8059. I really wanted to write something yaoi for KHR.

Disclaimer: ... It's a fanfiction, that speaks for itself.

Warnings: yaoi, angst, denial.

Cracks of Joy

-.-.-.-

"Go to hell!"

"Maa, maa, Gokudera, calm down. It's just a mission for the Vongola. I'm sure we can work together for a week."

The Storm and Rain had been assigned a mission by Reborn. They couldn't really say no, and it wasn't an option to fail. Nevertheless, Gokudera was upset by the fact that his sister had gone on a hit two months ago and never came home, no matter how hard he tried to hide it. It was plain as day to Takeshi, who had known him for so long. Gokudera was hurting, and Takeshi wanted to help, but he had no idea how to without earning the Storm's ire at this present time. He was much more prickly than usual.

"Work alone! I'm not leaving!"

"It's a two-person mission, I can't just go off alone..."

"Then take someone else, if it's so important!"

He understood that Gokudera was lashing out, angry and not sure how to express it. He had gone through the same thing when his mother, and later his father, had died. But... "You were assigned with me. It's official. There must have been a reason Tsuna put you with me."

"Did you HEAR what I SAID? I DON'T _WANT_ TO WORK WITH YOU, I HATE YOU! THERE IS NO WAY THIS WILL END WELL! AND DON'T BRING JYUUDAIME INTO THIS!"

Takeshi knew that Gokudera didn't like him that way, but wow did that hurt. And maybe he had pushed a bit too far with the comment about Tsuna. He knew that Gokudera didn't take into account what others felt when he talked or made decisions, only fact and Tsuna's feelings. He knew he had no chance with the dynamite user, but his mind didn't seem to be capable of wrapping itself around that little fact.

Gokudera would go and say something like that, make Takeshi's heart bleed and leave him questioning if his feelings were worth it. And then the Storm would turn around and take a day out with him to order sushi or something sentimental that he claimed didn't register but Takeshi knew had been his intention from the start.

These little actions were the ones that showed how much Gokudera cared when he shouted he didn't, just like the small blush that bloomed on his cheeks whenever Takeshi teased him or gave him a gift. His blushes were the cutest~!

The way Gokudera apologized was to take Takeshi out for sushi and/or play a song for him. That's when Takeshi realized he was completely gone and totally didn't care. He had whole precious, treasured minutes to gaze at the explosive right-hand without being creepy or pushed away.

Gokudera's nimble fingers would dance over the piano, so slim, long, majestic. They were musical and infused with feeling, as was the rest of his body as he moved with the melody. The sunlight would play over his hair and make it glow the slightest bit while the breeze would float in through the open window and brush the loose strands of the beautiful piano player's ponytail across his forehead. His eyes would glimmer with emotions and depth that did not occur at any other time. The music Gokudera played always made a wonderful background. He was well and truly invested in and passionate about his music.

He knew that Gokudera at least cared about him. The only other person who got to listen to any of Gokudera's music was Tsuna. The fact that Gokudera trusted him enough that he ignored his instincts and was able to turn his back and let down his walls for Takeshi when he played piano was heartwarming and said volumes. He knew he was one of the Storm's two best friends, even if he would always be second.

Takeshi had a list of Gokudera's endearing qualities a mile long in his head. The dynamite user was so expressive, handsome, soft and then so hard with so many walls the next second, lovely, caring, mother-henish, smart, strategic, dedicated, determined... He could go on and on. Gokudera had the best hair, soft, silky, in the best color. He had the cutest little pink lips and the most adorable blush-then-scowl expression. He had the best indignant reactions to teasing, and he got so fired up, protective and rightous rage, when someone in their family was threatened. He was so attractive and he didn't even care, and so many other things...!

Takeshi was happily gone, and he had been for a while. He knew Gokudera didn't feel the same way, but… that was all right, because the handsome silverette was rough and constantly yelling and such a tsundere, and Takeshi was carefree and softer and a little more careless than he should be sometimes. They were so different, Takeshi knew they wouldn't mesh well in a relationship if Gokudera didn't give it his all, and right now that wasn't possible. It wouldn't ever be possible.

When the gorgeous half-Italian hurt him, he _hurt._ Every little time just added to the cracks already present in his heart. But he soldiered through it, because he loved Gokudera enough to fuel the sun and stars, and that was powerful, wasn't it? It was enough to sling his arm around the other's shoulders and get it tossed off with a threat that made the Storm look so cute and fierce, like a cat puffing up its tail. It unavoidably warmed Takeshi's heart. On good days, the Storm would even let it stay there for a bit and grumble obligatorily, even though Takeshi saw that minute blush at the closeness and perceived weakness, no matter how hard the genius tried to hide it. He was _such_ a tsundere.

It was enough, it had to be. Takeshi knew that once he told Gokudera about his feelings, once he revealed everything, it would ruin their friendship and slaughter the trust Takeshi had worked so hard to build.

It had happened once, with a male secretary that used to be Gokudera's. The guy finally confessed his feelings after two years and Gokudera had gone still with shock. The Guardian's rant and chase became legendary, as did the time the secretary spent in the hospital. (Well, for the Storm Guardian. The Cloud Guardian sent people to the hospital for so much longer.) Takeshi had heard the tirade about 'queers' and 'fags' as the chase had passed him. He laughed at how cute and ruffled Gokudera looked, all fired up, and hid the hurt away. The pianist was a massive tsundere, but Takeshi couldn't help how his feelings responded, beaten down again (and the cracks widened). And he knew not to take everything the Storm said literally, but he'd mentioned it before.

He couldn't bear the awkward avoidance and separation if it happened, not to mention the rejection and disgust. He took what little snatches of Gokudera cuteness he could… and was happy. Honestly.

(The cracks of joy in his heart said it all.

Right?)

-.-.-.-

A/N: Yep, I just did that.

I'm not sure if this will be continued. Maybe if you give me ideas. What might happen on the mission?

It's so sappy. But sad. That's pretty much what I was going for. As soon as I wrote the piano scene, I was like "okay, this is cliche and sappy and I don't care."

This is, like, TYL. Maybe eight or so.

This is pretty much the same Takeshi as the one in Rain in Sonder, except he doesn't fall in love with Tsuna but Gokudera. Or, you never know, he grew out of the crush on Tsuna and really fell hard for Hayato. I don't know, imagine what you want. I do know that I love 8059!

I love the idea of a silently hurting Takeshi with Hitman instincts that want to just slam Gokudera against the wall and make the other his, but the soft part that suffers in silence and wishes the Storm all the happiness in the world balances it out. I didn't really get that here, but I do love the idea.

As for whether Hayato actually loves Takeshi back, the truth is that I don't know. He could be in denial, he could be spouting off the truth. We'd all like to think it's mutual.

~OperaEagle IcelynLacelett


End file.
